Is Paris Hilton a Democrat?

A day or two ago I was in a doctor's office shuffling through a stack of old magazines while I waited for my appointment. I wasn't interested in reading Paris Hilton's latest misadventures or going to hunt tigers in the forests of Bangladesh, so I laid the magazine down just as I caught sight of a Newsweek dated March 10, 2008. What a find! There in a feature titled Periscope is the most comprehensive yet concise statement on the promises being made by Obama, Clinton, and McCain on their favorite programs and estimates of the cost of each program on a first term, four-year basis.

Obama's health care plan would allow individuals and small companies to buy benefits similar to the ones that members of Congress get. He would mandate coverage for children, and families that could not afford rates would be eligible for subsidies. He would also expand Medicaid and SCHIP programs. He promises to fund this program by allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire, boosting taxes on high earners, redeploy funding from Iraq to domestic woes and possibly lift the cap on payroll taxes. Cost: $240 billion.

Clinton's health program is similar except hers is universal health care coverage for everyone using tax credits to limit premiums to a fixed percentage of family income and expanding rolls of Medicaid and the SCHIP children's coverage. She would also allow the Bush tax cuts to expire in 2010 and end the loophole which benefits hedge-fund managers. Cost: $400 billion.

McCain has not announced any health care programs and now proposes extending the rate reductions on income, capital gains, dividends and estates that are due to expire in 2010. His largest expense is defense spending. It's unclear how he will make up the lost revenue while boosting defense spending and reining in the deficit. It costs some $12 billion per month for combat operations now and he has pledged to maintain U.S. presence in Iraq for 100 years if necessary. The price tag for staying in Iraq at current troop levels through 2012 is $550 billion.

I'll save their programs on education, energy, and border security for another time since I know you're dying to find out more about Paris. I confess that I did sneek a peek at the article on her and found out that she is living in a mansion in Beverly Hills with a Russian oligarch who has more rubles than all the czars put together. In case you wondered, the dictionary defines an oligarchy as a government in which a small group exercises control , especially for corrupt and selfish purposes. Sound familiar? She's bound to be a Republican!